revtlmack

Adrienne Courtney Dantin

January 28,1980- January 30, 2001

Today marks the 14^th anniversary of the death of my niece, Adrienne Courtney Dantin. Adrienne was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma weeks after she began her freshman year of college at Transylvania University in Lexington, Kentucky. Transy is a Disciples of Christ University adjacent to the University of Kentucky. Everything was in front of her. The initial prognosis was hopeful.

Adrienne, along with her parents, my sister and brother-in-law, sought the best doctors in the country and, along with the doctors, set their hope on an aggressive treatment plan. This treatment plan included: surgery, radiation, chemotherapy and stem cell transplant. For the next three years, Adrienne was more sick than well. But, she seldom complained.

Her mom moved across the state to be Adrienne’s number one care-giver. Her dad became her great defender and pit bull, especially relating to the insurance companies. Her brother, Alex and (soon to be) sister-in-law, Brea were her primary source of “normal.” Being able to stay in Lexington, Adrienne sought her own source of “normal” supported by school, friends, and her AOP sisters.

And, Adrienne? She fought. She fought the cancer. She allowed the poking and prodding and treatments and indignities and inconveniences and interferences in her life. She tolerated hair loss and hormonal changes and nausea ad nauseam. Yes, she fought.

And, she lived. In the “in between” times, she lived the best life that she could live. One of her “life strategies” from the first of her diagnosis to the day that she died was to be a “normal” “Transy” college student. She may be the only person that I have ever known who actually wanted to live in a college dorm. As I write this, I am wrapped up in a special blanket of some of Adrienne’s t-shirts. Her mother had it made for me. There is a T-shirt of Adrienne’s trip to Washington, DC for the inauguration of President Bill Clinton; a t-shirt of “our” first mission trip together in 1994; a t-shirt of her trip to Israel in 2000, just months before her final recurrence of the tumor; her Jimmy Buffett’s Parrotthead Bar Exam t-shirt; her beloved Camp Kumbayah Work Camp t-shirt; several of her AOP t-shirts; and the “piece de resistance”- the t-shirt given to her by the FBI and the Secret Service when she was detained at a Transy visit to the White House.

Now, this is a great story. As she and her schoolmates were going through the security screening at the White House, Adrienne set off the security alarms.   She had tested positively for some kind of radioactive element. She was whisked into a private security area while they did a pretty thorough background security check. Now, please understand. At this time, Adrienne was not yet fully recovered from her stem cell transplant, she had yet to regain a full set of hair, and she had had a recent scan which had left residual radioactive isotopes in her system.   She looked like a cancer patient. But, she never copped to it and they never asked. After she was cleared, she was released back to the group with the best “behind the scenes White House tour.” She was, also, given a few mementos: a coaster, a cup, her official FBI file and her coveted FBI t-shirt. And, she also left with the biggest smile, ever! Yes, she lived.

She fought and she lived…and, she did so with grace and humor and courage. Oh, and one more thing…faith. Adrienne had faith…she had faith and a servant’s heart. Throughout all of her illness, she believed in and trusted in God, fully. When the cancer recurred in the Fall of 2000, she was told by her medical team that medically her options were pretty much exhausted. She was given the option for more chemotherapy. It was clear that, at that point, that the additional chemotherapy may have prolonged her life for a couple of months. Quantity vs. Quality. Adrienne’s response was this: “No, I want hair for Christmas.” You see, Christmas was Adrienne’s favorite holiday. And, for the previous two Christmas’, Adrienne had not had hair. And, this she was not willing to suffer a third time.

And, all knew that time was short. The “single-site” tumor that had proved resistant to all forms of medical treatment, continued to grow. The tumor was located near her heart, between her lung and ribs, impairing her ability to breathe. A side effect of this was continued collection of fluid on her lungs.   Additionally, the chemotherapy drugs had greatly, adversely affected her heart.   By late January, Adrienne was on oxygen 24/7.

When one fights an illness like cancer, one of the great frustrations is the loss of control. It seems that cancer has all of the control and all of the power.   Adrienne’s last few months symbolized her “winning”…she took back her life. She took back her life and did so on her own terms, as much as she could, often pushing the limits. She left the hospital at Christmas time because her Granny was coming in and she did not intend to spoil her Granny’s Christmas.   On the day before her 21^st birthday, Adrienne and her boyfriend, Eric, drove from Louisville to Lexington (about an hour and a half) to attend (what would be Adrienne’s last) AOP event, a winter formal in her honor. I still marvel at the strength that my sister and brother in law exhibited to make this last wish possible for Adrienne.

And, on January 30, 2001, two days after her 21^st birthday, Adrienne died. She did so with dignity, elegance, confidence, courage, grace and, I believe, peace…perfect peace. And, yes, she had faith.

She was wrong about one thing, however. In her journal, she wrote that I was her hero. She was so wrong. She is mine. I hope one day, I can be just like her.